Good Bye Pride Hello Reality

I didn't realize how much pride I really had until now. It took my pride being wounded for me to realize that I am only human. This past Friday I was let go from my job and although I don't agree with their reasonings the fact is the same I have to look for work again.

Getting let go on a Friday gives you a kind of twilight. It numbs you to the reality that awaits you on monday morning. And then comes Sunday night and it starts to seep in to your conscious that “hey, tomorrow your not going to work.” But it only hits you more permanently on Tuesday. Yes Tuesday. Why Tuesday? Because Monday no I’m not going to work but “I’m going to be able to find a job” or there’s the “I’m going to have a little time off and enjoy it and it cant be that bad.” 

Then you wake up Tuesday morning after spending a day relaxing, leisurely applying to jobs that sound cool and interesting.  Not that your not taking it seriously but the sense of urgency isn’t biting your ass. Then its Tuesday.

Tuesday is the day when everything sinks in or the depression sets in. Questions bubble in your head such as: Where did I go wrong? and How could I let this happen? Why didn’t I fight more? Am I a failure? Am I an idiot? It becomes to much to take all the while trying to keep your eye on the prize and looking for work, because if you don’t the bills won’t get paid.

Then there’s Wednesday. I woke up this morning and realized this is not going to happen over night. This is a process and I have to do everything I can but I can’t set my expectations high. Being positive is the best thing to do in this situation. Count your blessings and try and be best. This can and will be worse before they get better. Hope can be stronger than pride. 

Although my pride has been wounded and talking about it has been hard. Accepting reality is inevitable and needs to happen to learn and grow. This process is something that many seem to be going through and may vary from person to person. But we are all human and have the ability to learn grow and adapt. 

A Crazy 30 Days- Downs and Well Downs

It has been almost one month since I was let go from my last job and as many would suspect this month has not been the greatest experience of my life. I filed for unemployment for the first time at the ripe age of 23. I have gone store to store asking for applications, feeling almost like a desperate puppy trying to find someone to feed him. Although I am not that bad off there is an emotional weight that searching for employment in that fashion brings. It is quite depressing.

I have heard "we are always taking applications" and that in "spring we will be hiring" or there was the occasion "no we are not hiring at all." Times are tough and my experience in the world is low. Finding a position that will pay my bills but not defeat my mental state is trying.

Why can't I get a job, I have a college degree? Isn't that why I went to college in the first place? Didn't they jam it into our brains in high school that if we want to "make something of ourselves we need to go to college." I'm starting to feel that if I didn't go to college I would be better off that I am now. I would possible have had a job, although not "prestigious", a job just the same. I would have no student loan debt. And I am pretty sure my credit card bills would be less seeing as college "free pizza promo" is how I ended up with them in the first place.

The other day I thought that my life was going to turn around. I had swallowed my pride and went to Dillard's to ask for my old job back. This is the job I quite only a couple months prior to take the one I was let go from. They let me come back and the next day I was going to start the re- training process. I showed up for the first day ready to join the other new trainees to find out that there would be no training class. They had forgotten to call me to tell me it had been canceled. There was a mix up with corporate and the hiring freeze had not been lifted. I along with the other people happy to land a new job were completely let down. It was a huge blow to have lost my job again.

Its hard to be positive, but I have to try. I don't have much else to do besides be positive and keep looking. There's nothing else anyone can do. I was promised many things when I was growing up, and they all included a life better than my parents. Well that hasn't happened, maybe someday it will. I was spoiled into thinking that life would be easy. Reality has set in now and life is hard. Life is a struggle. Just now I am reminded of my favorite song from White Christmas: Counting Your Blessings.

I got a job!

Today I had an interview this morning with Ethan Allen. My first interview of my job search. It went pretty well but I was not offered a job. She was still conducting interviews and I will probably hear back from her in a week or so.

After that interview though I had a call from Dillards Home Store ro come in and interview with them. I did and after interviewing with two people, I was offered a job. A job that started TONIGHT!

They have training classes that are only offered once a month and the one for September is tonight at 5:30-8. I kinda expected half hoped they would offer me a position but I never expected I would start tonight.

I've decided to take the job even though Ethan Allen would be more desirable and more in my field. Also Ethan Allen is commission based and would be a financial struggle for the first 6 to 12 months. I am keeping myself open though to other design positions. And if Ethan Allen does call I may leave Dillards.

As for crafting, I have a meeting with the manager of the River City Gift Shoppe in COpley tom morning to show her some of my work and to discuss booth space. I love my crocheting and will never give it up. If the booth does well I will definately look fro a better design job even if it is commission based( which almost all are).

I'm extremely excited and hope this job works out!

Ethan Allen

After graduating college I started the wonderful task of job hunting. One of the first places I applied to was Ethan Allen. They are a fantastic interior design showroom and not only an amazing furniture store.

After giving them a couple weeks to look over my resume I finally got the courage to call and see what my status was. After a phone interview with the manager, she asked if she could see my portfolio! Soo I now have an interview on tuesday!

I'm soo excited! My first interview!

It feels so good getting over that hump! Before I called I bought a new suit from Macy's and afterwards I visited target and grabed a pair of heals I had been eyeing for a couple of months!

Tomorrow I am calling the manager of the gift shoppe that just openned and has booths available for local crafters. I hope it all works out for the best.

I'm on a high right now! I love the good days!

Hopefully while you read this some goodliness rubs off on you as well!