Thursday, January 15, 2009

A Crazy 30 Days- Downs and Well Downs

It has been almost one month since I was let go from my last job and as many would suspect this month has not been the greatest experience of my life. I filed for unemployment for the first time at the ripe age of 23. I have gone store to store asking for applications, feeling almost like a desperate puppy trying to find someone to feed him. Although I am not that bad off there is an emotional weight that searching for employment in that fashion brings. It is quite depressing.

I have heard "we are always taking applications" and that in "spring we will be hiring" or there was the occasion "no we are not hiring at all." Times are tough and my experience in the world is low. Finding a position that will pay my bills but not defeat my mental state is trying.

Why can't I get a job, I have a college degree? Isn't that why I went to college in the first place? Didn't they jam it into our brains in high school that if we want to "make something of ourselves we need to go to college." I'm starting to feel that if I didn't go to college I would be better off that I am now. I would possible have had a job, although not "prestigious", a job just the same. I would have no student loan debt. And I am pretty sure my credit card bills would be less seeing as college "free pizza promo" is how I ended up with them in the first place.

The other day I thought that my life was going to turn around. I had swallowed my pride and went to Dillard's to ask for my old job back. This is the job I quite only a couple months prior to take the one I was let go from. They let me come back and the next day I was going to start the re- training process. I showed up for the first day ready to join the other new trainees to find out that there would be no training class. They had forgotten to call me to tell me it had been canceled. There was a mix up with corporate and the hiring freeze had not been lifted. I along with the other people happy to land a new job were completely let down. It was a huge blow to have lost my job again.

Its hard to be positive, but I have to try. I don't have much else to do besides be positive and keep looking. There's nothing else anyone can do. I was promised many things when I was growing up, and they all included a life better than my parents. Well that hasn't happened, maybe someday it will. I was spoiled into thinking that life would be easy. Reality has set in now and life is hard. Life is a struggle. Just now I am reminded of my favorite song from White Christmas: Counting Your Blessings.

1 comment:

Momwithahook said...

hey, know how you feel. Hubby has been filling out applications everywhere since his company laid him off late oct. It's a pain. I've never seen it this bad. McDonalds is not even hiring. Walmart. places like that - that seem to hire all the time and anyone are not hiring. HOpe our new president can figure something out and the hiring freeze will be lifted.

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